Your ego can become an obstacle to your work. If you start believing in your greatness, it is the death of your creativity ~Marina Abramovic
Hey kings and queens.
I have always imagined myself as a writer who sits by the beach with a laptop and writes novels and earns money. Who sits by the beach and read great works of great writers, but I couldn’t be more wrong that it is just a faraway romantic dream.
No artist ever sits by the sea or a beach to write or create, they might but I don’t think it’s an easy thing to do; it involves a lot of distractions.
Leaving away all that romantic dreams aside from being an artist of a writer. I got a job, in a good company and willing to explore myself further.
The only thing I always hated most, the creativity destructor, a job.
As a creative person, I always hated jobs, that typical 9-5 jobs, day in and day out you grind sitting at your desk, but I have one right now and I don’t know what to do about it.
But I don’t feel bad about it; you have to go through things you don’t want in life to get what you want.
I feel good to have something to do, as a writer I had nothing but reading books and writing them, but more than that.
Someone in India said to have passions more than writing itself, to have a job that pays you when writing doesn’t pay you.
Anyway without wasting your time lets jump into the conversation.
I want to talk about how important it is to enjoy the process of creation in art.
Art flows freely from the heart of the artist to the heart of the audience.
There is a reason that creative ideas come to those who are less stressed out, outgoing and enthusiastic, they’re open to criticism.
Art should be performed or created like that, with enthusiasm and open-mindedness.
An artist gets lost in proving the world his/her talents.
He creates art which might appeal to the world, might earn him some penny, might make him successful, but, as an artist, you should focus on creating quality art.
I have always seen myself more as an artist than as a writer. I am that person who creates art in my minds of readers. My brush is my pen and my canvas is my reader’s imagination.
I have always done that and felt happy about it.
But last year a lot changed. I had a few quarrels with my friends over something and I wanted to prove myself as a good novelist.
I had this drive to prove myself, my art to the world and make everyone feel wrong about me, but that only hindered my growth as an artist.
I have written 2-3 unpublished projects these two years and I have also written erotica purely for the sole purpose of earning money.
I am still ashamed of myself.
I wrote this novel, called, “Leila” “Leila was that project which was close to my heart, my soul.
I gave everything I had inside me when writing it, and unfortunately, I had only negativity, rage and a lot of anger to unleash, and I had Leila to transmute all of my energies to.
Leila happened to be a good story to read, but something lacked in it, something that was there in my previous two novels, my previous two novels weren’t perfect but they had a good touch to it.
With that lacking feeling, I began chasing perfection, I made every character, scenes, paragraph perfect, and wrote the entire novel 3-4 times and I only ruined it.
My voice as a writer seemed to fade away, my grit as an artist stopped and lost somewhere. I took a long break from writing and I used my time into other aspects of my personal development. I was not creating anything, I was lost.
After a lot of time, I came too realized that the only thing I lacked in Leila was, Grit, passion, and love. Whatever I wrote before had that grit, had that passion and love inside it.
I enjoyed the process of creating when I was writing my previous novels, but with Leila, my chase for perfection ruined my art and this artist. It ruined my own belief as a writer.
After taking a break and reading good novels, reading great works and refocusing, after 6 months of struggle and writing something, I found the story I wanted to tell and I found the art I wanted to create.
Right now I am working on a novel and I am 22k words done with it.
I started enjoying the process of writing. The process of conjuring up words afterwards.
I enjoy my characters stories and I get deep into their souls and rip their stories apart.
While writing their stories, I cry, laugh, I get stricken with grief, but I write a great page every day and I love it.
I am not taking my writing seriously as I used to take it before, that’ll only make my writing come off as structured and not free-flowing.
I am giving it time to finish within three months, it’s a crime genre based in Mumbai and explores Mumbai’s gangsters and the crime.
I am writing with grit, passion, and love, I am ripping my soul apart and delivering what I had to deliver when Leila was due.
Leila didn’t realize and thank god, but I am making this one release.
An artist has a soul and chasing money, perfection, ego satisfactions will kill that soul and you won’t be able to create good art.
What I wanted to say is that, as artists, no matter what the world says, always believe in you and create art.
Don’t chase money, perfection, that’ll only ruin you as an artist.
Create great art. That challenges society and the status quo.
Never try to prove yourself as an artist, only try to love what you do, be passionate about it, have grit.
Open up your heart and souls, and create.
In creation lies the greatest joy.
Enjoy the process of creation. Open up your hearts and souls.
What do you think about this article? Feel free to comment below because I am curious.
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